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<\/a>My heart is heavy and my mind is clouded today as I sit in my office wondering how to adequately comfort people in grievous loss and tragedy. \u00a0The best of words sound tinny and cheap. \u00a0I am reminded of a quote from the “Cowboy’s Guide to Life”,<\/p>\nNever miss a good chance to shut up.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
Maybe that’s the best thing I can do. \u00a0I could, on the other hand, record a few thoughts in case they might hold meaning at some point.<\/p>\n
I felt like I knew Phil for a lifetime but in reality it has been a couple years that we have brushed past one another and normally it was a funeral that brought us together. \u00a0He had that ability to make people feel as though they were long time friends … not just casual acquaintances. \u00a0I don’t think any of that was superficial … I just think that some people love well. \u00a0They are fascinated and intrigued by others and they believe that there is some very special attribute that they can identify and call forward. \u00a0To be able to see the best in others and in circumstances is huge. \u00a0I want with all my heart for there to be more of those kinds of people in the world … not less. \u00a0I want to be like that.<\/p>\n
I’ve been looking at the pictures on Facebook today and thinking how unreal it is that he is gone. \u00a0I can’t believe it. \u00a0I look at those pictures and part of me wants to cry but then that million dollar smile just lights me up. \u00a0I find myself smiling right back at the pictures.<\/p>\n
How in the world does that happen? \u00a0But it does … at least it happens to me.<\/p>\n
I need to smile more.<\/p>\n
Not a plastic, pretend smile but the kind that happens when we can count our real blessings. \u00a0Not possessions and achievement, status … those kinds of things are knock-off’s, like the Rolex that one of the kids in my youth group bought in Chinatown, in New York city. \u00a0He brought it back on the bus and waved it in front of our faces. \u00a0I held it just in time to see one of the counterfeit hands fall off. \u00a0To have a perma-smile like Phil’s I think you need to be in touch with the things that really matter. Maybe that’s one of the benefits of working around death all the time. \u00a0You know what is real and what isn’t. \u00a0You know what you can take with you and what you have to leave behind. \u00a0Most of us have to live longer than Phil did before we discover what those things are.<\/p>\n
Was there anything that this guy didn’t have a hand in? \u00a0Was there anything that he gave his time to that didn’t help to make our community just a little bit better? \u00a0You could lose weight standing next to Phil … that’s how good his metabolism was … the Energizer bunny. \u00a0His life spoke to me about the necessity of pitching in and getting your hands dirty … doing what a person can to make the world better than you found it. \u00a0God knows there are enough people mindlessly messing it up, and messing other lives up in the process. \u00a0How about a few more champions who make life more about others than themselves?<\/p>\n
Was he perfect? \u00a0I am certain that he was not. \u00a0It’s not about perfection but about being real enough to live transparently, authentically despite the faults that we all have. \u00a0It doesn’t take anyone special to find the fault in others. \u00a0Someone said,<\/p>\n
Any jackass can tear down a barn but it takes a real carpenter to build one.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
The most saintly of people have faults, idiosyncracies, eccentricities … you name it. \u00a0The silliest of people believe they have it all together, that their perspective on life is normative. \u00a0The most spiritual of people that I have met are those who would not consider themselves to be abundantly spiritual.<\/p>\n
At some point all of this becomes extraneous … it is just enough to say thanks Phil, for all that you did. \u00a0Thanks for the dear family that survives you and reminds us of you.<\/p>\n
I hope I don’t say anything stupid that complicates their grieving and their pain. \u00a0I honour it because I feel it myself. \u00a0Not like they do but enough that it makes me stop and think, and write, and pray with all my heart for God’s grace and comfort to meet their deep heartache in the days and weeks to come.<\/p>\n
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My heart is heavy and my mind is clouded today as I sit in my office wondering how to adequately comfort people in grievous loss and tragedy. \u00a0The best of words sound tinny and cheap. \u00a0I am reminded of a quote from the “Cowboy’s Guide to Life”, Never miss a good chance to shut up. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"on","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[6,9],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2108","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-life-between-sundays","category-weekly-bulletin"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/s6IX45-phil","_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.ikemediology.com\/clc\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2108","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.ikemediology.com\/clc\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.ikemediology.com\/clc\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.ikemediology.com\/clc\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.ikemediology.com\/clc\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2108"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/www.ikemediology.com\/clc\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2108\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2110,"href":"http:\/\/www.ikemediology.com\/clc\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2108\/revisions\/2110"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.ikemediology.com\/clc\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2108"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.ikemediology.com\/clc\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2108"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.ikemediology.com\/clc\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2108"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}